Just Another Day in (Sportsman's) Paradise

What a weird Wednesday it has been. It started fine, with me getting up to do my usual morning ritual of getting the new place organized. After my third cup of coffee (Starbucks bold roast beans which I grind to a fine crack-like, rocket-liftoff-inducing powder), I was on all fours, vigorously scrubbing each tile on my kitchen floor in a Magda-like cleaning frenzy. Still not having fully taken advantage of my extra energy, I decided to go for a run to Audubon Park, which is about a 1.5 miles from my house. When I got to the park, I reached in my pocket and found that I had lost the key to my house. Having nothing better to do and no better options, I spent the next FOUR HOURS combing the tracks of the Saint Charles street car line like a wild boar looking for truffles. I made several round trips between my house and the park. I've never had the opportunity to tune in so closely to the little bits of random shit that get embedded in the ground. It was kind of like a little mini-tour of the city; a tiny glimpse at the essence of the Big Easy. By scouring the street car tracks and parting the grass and dirt over the course of several miles, I found Mardi Gras beads from past parades; probably about a dollar in old change; those little plastic hand grenades from gallon-sized drinks of the same name -- you only get those down in the Quarter at Tropical Isle; a tiny little package of crack (seriously, where do drug dealers go to buy those teeny tiny little green zip lock bags?); a house key (not mine, dammit!), a purple lighter, an empty pack of American Spirit smokes, and someone's school transcript folded up neatly then torn length-wise and width-wise (that is something I can relate to -- all I can hope for that individual is that those bad grades came at the expense of as much fun as I had during my 3 years at Tulane). Aahhhh, good old New Orleans. No keys, but I do feel like I had a bonding experience with my city today. And it was minorly entertaining.* And educational. All in all, it was a beautiful day with low humidity and no clouds, and I never found my key, but like the grades that kid gave up to have fun in school, everything has a price.

*Although, not as entertaining as the exchange I saw later in the day when the check-out girl at Wholefoods stopped my transaction so she could have a lengthy discussion and lend another check-out person some foodstamps (which emerged from an embossed silver-plate business card holder) -- that's not something you see every day at Wholefoods.